Ok, seriously, just knock it off. I know, it SOUNDS so hard to do, but it’s not. Look, I’m suffering. I’ve been having daily meltdowns on Facebook because the severe loneliness as I navigate cancer is taking its toll on me. I don’t have a home, I don’t have many clients, and I’m not sure how I’m going to afford to have cancer. I have rage-screamed FUCK! at the top of my lungs (in a deserted parking lot at night) no less than 3 times since my diagnosis. I am easily irritated when shit isn’t going my way – and news flash! It’s not.
I. Am. Suffering.
And today, I’ve decided to just stop.
Stop trying to control my disease, my treatments, and the medical staff involved.
Navigating this shit alone is hard AF, but I have no choice but to just do it alone. So, in all the ways possible, I’m making this hard on everyone around me. I’m in a giant puddle of mental and physical anguish, and it’s dark and cold, and I can’t get out. I need to get out.
But that’s not how cancer works. You can’t just get out. You HAVE to go THROUGH.
And I have to do it without a hand to hold. I thought navigating my cardiac stuff last year was difficult. It’s like the universe just handed me another beer to hold.
SO this is me just stopping.
I’ve started two new things to get me through. First, there’s Wednesday Night Writers’ Club – JOIN HERE – and what we do is help each other become better writers. Read the announcement to get a better idea.
Second, there’s #FiveMinuteMornings, another group where I will post daily writing prompts, and you (and I) will time ourselves and write as much as we can about that prompt for 5 minutes. I (and you – but you don’t have to) will post what we wrote in 5 minutes. This is strictly for fun and to spark creativity. Click here to join the #FiveMinuteMornings group.
There are rules for both groups. Namely, don’t be a jerk-ass, and don’t write hateful things. The world – my world – already has too much of that.
Would love to see you over there participating, but it’s cool if you don’t 🙂
That’s all…Until tomorrow!